Learning about a partner’s secretive sexual behaviors can be a devastating experience. When someone you loved and trusted betrays that trust by going outside of the relationship sexually or emotionally, the resulting level of pain can feel unmanageable. Shock, confusion, shame, self-doubt, fear and rage are some of the emotions that may emerge with overpowering intensity. It can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you and your new footing is no longer on solid ground. This can trigger a multitude of psychological and physical responses that may include:
- emotional turmoil
- self-protective behaviors
- obsessing about the addict’s behavior
- efforts to control the addict
- intrusive thoughts
- feelings of hopelessness
- withdrawal from others
- panic attacks
- insomnia
Partners of sex addicts often refer to this experience as the “trauma of discovery”, and it can impact many areas of one’s life. Your most important relationship is no longer the safe place you thought it to be, your sense of reality has been put into question, and you may even feel you are somehow to blame. You may be wondering if you should stay or go.
At the Center for Personal Growth & Creativity, our first responsibility is to assess the impact of the trauma and help you to manage the crisis. This includes:
- accepting and validating your pain
- educating you on how to set self-protective boundaries
- connecting you with people who are in similar situations for mutual support
- assisting you in choosing who to tell about the situation
- teaching you about sex addiction
- helping you deal with emotional shock by providing ways to process pain, manage anger, and release guilt and shame
- supporting you through your grieving process
- helping you to recognize inner strengths
Once a degree of emotional stability is achieved, we will assist you in determining the next right steps to take in your continued journey through healing and recovery.